Impatient
It feels like it's been f o r e v e r since our last appointment!
At about Fifteen weeks I got a little bubbly sensation off to the left of my lower abdomen – I described it to T as feeling like when a bubble pops against your skin; you can feel *something* but you can’t really feel anything. And I’ve had that a few times since, but it’s almost like nothing so I’m not even sure whether it is anything!
I’m now Seventeen weeks and I’m still getting tiny little 'kinda' feelings, but nothing that I can definitely point to and go “That! That was Spud!” and I really, really want to feel that, because it’s been a while since our last contact with a medical professional and I just need something to happen now.
I’m not worried, exactly; I’m pretty sure everything is fine, and I’m not anxious or thinking that there’s something wrong with Spud. I’m just impatient. People talk about pregnancy flying by, and maybe in retrospect, when it’s all over, I’ll look back and think “yeah, that went quickly”, but right now, my god it’s dragging. I can’t believe that it’s not over yet!
I was hoping we might be able to hear Spud’s heartbeat at our midwife appointment later this week, but I’ve read that many NHS providers don’t offer it at this stage now, as it can lead to unnecessary anxiety if the heartbeat can’t be found and they prefer to leave that to the next scan. It’s probably also something to do with the budgetary constraints on our glorious NHS but that’s a whole other rant. I hope we do get to use the doppler, as the possibility of it is pretty much the only thing holding me together at the moment!
T and I have looked into a couple of possibilities if we don’t, though. He’s priced up some fetal dopplers online, but I’m not keen; I get that they’re reassuring for some mums who, for one reason or another, need to, or want to, use them regularly and I’m fully supportive of that choice. For me, though, they’re medical tools so I’m not happy having something like that in my house as the temptation to use it constantly would be so strong, and I’ve read that the ultrasound waves might be dangerous in large amounts. After Spud starts moving around (come on kiddo!) I don’t think we’d use it all that often, and some of them – the ones with better reviews - are pretty expensive, and that money is better off staying in the Spud-Fund to go towards stuff that we need further down the line, like wet wipes. I think we might need to take out a loan for wet wipes though!
One thing that I am considering, though, if we don’t get to hear the heartbeat this week, is a private scan. There’s a place near us that offers the service for quite a reasonable price, and since it feels like it’s been a really long time since we last saw Spud, and another long while until our next scan, I’m very tempted to book an appointment. I know this sounds a bit silly given my niggle about money a second ago, and that’s one of the reasons I’m trying not to be lured in.
Logically, also, I know that it’s only about three weeks until our next scan, and that’s not a long time in the grand scheme of things (even though it feels like three years!) so I should probably wait. And we really should save that money for the Spud-Fund, or at least a scan later in the pregnancy as I think this next one will be the last one we’re offered (because, thankfully, all seemed fine and dandy with Spud at the first scan and tests, and I know we’ll only be offered further NHS scans if there are problems, so I’m actually hoping we aren’t offered more!)
So, you can probably tell by the fact that this is the longest post I’ve written so far that I’m feeling a little antsy right now!
How did everyone else cope with the long wait between appointments? Has anyone else, for non-medical reasons, used a doppler or had scans in between appointments?
I’m now Seventeen weeks and I’m still getting tiny little 'kinda' feelings, but nothing that I can definitely point to and go “That! That was Spud!” and I really, really want to feel that, because it’s been a while since our last contact with a medical professional and I just need something to happen now.
I’m not worried, exactly; I’m pretty sure everything is fine, and I’m not anxious or thinking that there’s something wrong with Spud. I’m just impatient. People talk about pregnancy flying by, and maybe in retrospect, when it’s all over, I’ll look back and think “yeah, that went quickly”, but right now, my god it’s dragging. I can’t believe that it’s not over yet!
I was hoping we might be able to hear Spud’s heartbeat at our midwife appointment later this week, but I’ve read that many NHS providers don’t offer it at this stage now, as it can lead to unnecessary anxiety if the heartbeat can’t be found and they prefer to leave that to the next scan. It’s probably also something to do with the budgetary constraints on our glorious NHS but that’s a whole other rant. I hope we do get to use the doppler, as the possibility of it is pretty much the only thing holding me together at the moment!
T and I have looked into a couple of possibilities if we don’t, though. He’s priced up some fetal dopplers online, but I’m not keen; I get that they’re reassuring for some mums who, for one reason or another, need to, or want to, use them regularly and I’m fully supportive of that choice. For me, though, they’re medical tools so I’m not happy having something like that in my house as the temptation to use it constantly would be so strong, and I’ve read that the ultrasound waves might be dangerous in large amounts. After Spud starts moving around (come on kiddo!) I don’t think we’d use it all that often, and some of them – the ones with better reviews - are pretty expensive, and that money is better off staying in the Spud-Fund to go towards stuff that we need further down the line, like wet wipes. I think we might need to take out a loan for wet wipes though!
Logically, also, I know that it’s only about three weeks until our next scan, and that’s not a long time in the grand scheme of things (even though it feels like three years!) so I should probably wait. And we really should save that money for the Spud-Fund, or at least a scan later in the pregnancy as I think this next one will be the last one we’re offered (because, thankfully, all seemed fine and dandy with Spud at the first scan and tests, and I know we’ll only be offered further NHS scans if there are problems, so I’m actually hoping we aren’t offered more!)
So, you can probably tell by the fact that this is the longest post I’ve written so far that I’m feeling a little antsy right now!
How did everyone else cope with the long wait between appointments? Has anyone else, for non-medical reasons, used a doppler or had scans in between appointments?
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