Bloaty McBloatface
Did everyone have a good weekend? I actually did, which was unexpected!
You see, I still work a little as a dancer, and this weekend I had an event that had been in my diary since February (so, very definitely pre-Spud!) which involved a particular outfit that I was fairly certain wouldn’t fit any more, so I was a little bit tense…
A few evenings ago I was having a chat over WhatsApp with one of my best friends, who is already momma-bear to two adorable boys, and I mentioned that I was so bloated that I looked seven months pregnant, rather than seven weeks. She said she needed to see pictures, and her kind, compassionate response? “Haha, f**k, you do!” Cheers, chick.
I had a nosy through google, to find out when other expectant mothers started to ‘show’; to actually look pregnant rather than looking like melted mashed potato, and most people seem to agree that it’s around ten-fifteen weeks on average. So this bump is definitely bloat and not Spud (though carbs did always give me a food baby!)
At the beginning of each day I still have a relatively flat stomach (as flat as mine ever gets, anyway – usually still lying down), but as the day progresses I slowly inflate like a giant, grumpy balloon until the only thing that fits are my trusty cookie-pants.
But, in an unexpected turn of events, Spud decided to hide for the duration of the event, meaning that the outfit not only fit, but looked as cracking as it did back in February. I suffered for it afterwards, as in the space of about an hour, post-event, I went up about two inches in my waist and I was back to Bloaty McBloatface.
Cheers Spud!
A few evenings ago I was having a chat over WhatsApp with one of my best friends, who is already momma-bear to two adorable boys, and I mentioned that I was so bloated that I looked seven months pregnant, rather than seven weeks. She said she needed to see pictures, and her kind, compassionate response? “Haha, f**k, you do!” Cheers, chick.
I had a nosy through google, to find out when other expectant mothers started to ‘show’; to actually look pregnant rather than looking like melted mashed potato, and most people seem to agree that it’s around ten-fifteen weeks on average. So this bump is definitely bloat and not Spud (though carbs did always give me a food baby!)
At the beginning of each day I still have a relatively flat stomach (as flat as mine ever gets, anyway – usually still lying down), but as the day progresses I slowly inflate like a giant, grumpy balloon until the only thing that fits are my trusty cookie-pants.
But, in an unexpected turn of events, Spud decided to hide for the duration of the event, meaning that the outfit not only fit, but looked as cracking as it did back in February. I suffered for it afterwards, as in the space of about an hour, post-event, I went up about two inches in my waist and I was back to Bloaty McBloatface.
Cheers Spud!
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